Crude sex jokes (go back »)
September 8 2007, 7:59 AM
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.
Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Q. What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A. A Klondike Bar
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"
Q. Why don't women wear watches?
A. There's a clock on the stove!
Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.
Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin?
A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.
Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?
A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!
Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
Q. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women? Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself? Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Q. Who's the world's greatest athlete? Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance? Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego... Q. What is the cheapest meat? Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? Q. What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise? Q. What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out? Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy? Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe? Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
A. He's smoking a cigarette.
A. He worked it out with a pencil.
A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
A. Women don't get blow jobs while they're driving
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
A. "Is it in?"
A. Deer balls, there under a buck.
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.
A. The captains log.
A. A lesbian with a hard-on.
A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
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